Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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