I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
