whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
