He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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