Three words: puerto rican gang bang
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
im six kinds of drunk right now
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
