Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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