don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
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