fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
