Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
