stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
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Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
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The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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