I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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