also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
