I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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