Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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