I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
