I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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