Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
the raccoons are back...
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