you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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