Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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