i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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