Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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