I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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