I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
