So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
