Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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