If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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