Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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