i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
false alarm. still invincible.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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