you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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