Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
