the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
