did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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