did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
