Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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