I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
