Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
