I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize