whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
