I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
she smelled like a LAN party
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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