After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
