She said her name was "party"
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
