he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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