six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
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