Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
