I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
