For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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