your parents love me but you hate me
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize