There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
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