I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
