Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
