It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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