once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
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I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
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This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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