How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
