they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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