I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
