He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
