Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
