how can u be prego again
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
