: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
