oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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