Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Do vagina's smell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize