just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize