She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
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He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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