ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
