how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
